Wasting Time on the Internet

…I decided to make a list of things I do to waste time on the Internet, (while wasting time on the Internet. Ironic, no?):
 
  • YouTube Tutorials – love them. Youtube could have its own university. You can learn so much from all the videos on there and THEY’RE FREE. Try it. Guarantee you’ll learn something new that you actually enjoy. Makeup, mechanics, massages, movie making…. Go. Now. But come back!
  • Blog Reading. I know…blogs are so last year. But I personally didn’t get into them until recently and they are amazing! Do you know the types of things you find in the blogsphere? Political articles from your point of view (“Of course Obama is still a superhero, he’s just trynna play like he can’t perform, duh!”), hilarious accounts of people’s rather uneventful lives (see: hyperbole and a half), other people’s life missions, product reviews for products that you-didn’t-know-existed-but-now-are-slowly-dying-because-you-can’t-live-with-out, and of course there are other readers’ comments letting you know you’re not the only one putting off work.
  • Google. is. the. bomb.com! You know that person. You are all sitting at the table, sippin’ on some milk shakes, chatting it up. And bam! Y’all can’t agree on a fact. Goes something like this:
“No, he died…. right after filming that movie.”
“Nuh huh!!! He’s a director now!”
“Liars! He just had a sex change operation!”
The argument heats up, people forget what side they’re arguing for.
“Funeral!…..She-Man!…Genious!…..Died!…Blockbuster!….Heels!….My mom!….Wait, huh?”
Sitting quietly in the corner is that one friend, who whips out their phone, starts typing and without warning….wait for it…. SPEAKS! *in a pompous British accent*
“Actually, he faked his own death to publicize his most recent movie about a transvestite, which he directed. The movie was flop at the box office and so he changed his name to Leonardo DeCaprio.”
Silence.
Google 1, Know-its-alls 0.
  • Shopping Online. It’s glorious! Just as your professor is giving you the answer to your final that will get you a sure A in the class, you press confirm and that pair of purple suede heels is on its way to your door. You are buying yourself a consolation prize before even taking the test you’re about to fail. Give yourself a pat on the back for being prepared. And then wear those heels as you visit your advisor to explain why your GPA looks like a teenagers age….
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